Premium ContentMouse over Home then click on Premium Content for information.Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears weekdays on Omaha.com. Check out Brad's bio and column archive at omaha.com/dickson.
* * * * * * * * * *
On Monday night, there were 70 mph winds recorded at TD Ameritrade Park. Winds were so strong the line for general admission tickets actually moved.
The high winds were blowing trash all around the stadium. Which is good. At this point our best hope is that winds will blow the garbage into the Deffenbaugh trucks.
Mitt Romney just addressed a group of 900 newly unemployed people. Ironically, turns out all 900 are former Newt Gingrich campaign workers.
Researchers are experimenting with robots that can teach kindergarten. The biggest challenge is designing robots willing to work for what we pay kindergarten teachers.
Monday night's storm created a scary situation at TD Ameritrade Park, but we can all be grateful that it didn't result in any serious injuries. Had there been serious injuries, however, vendors at the tents outside the stadium were prepared to sell the injured official CWS licensed tourniquets for $39.95 each.
At one point during the evacuation of TD Ameritrade Park, 30 stadium security guards in body armor carrying rubber bullets rushed through the concourse. Apparently a fan was spotted with an oversized umbrella.
I'm sitting there looking at TD Ameritrade Park for half an hour on ESPN when I realized, "I'm not watching ESPN — this is The Weather Channel."
For you out-of-towners unfamiliar with Omaha weather, this was actually one of our nicer days.
I doubt we'll see fans fleeing TD Ameritrade with this type of urgency until Sister Hazel takes the stage at the Red Sky Festival.
During the College World Series a new Omaha lounge and supper club is sponsoring a "roaming party bus" - a bus with no regular schedule or route that just comes and goes where and when the driver pleases. I remember when that was called Metro Area Transit.
Of course when a roaming party bus traveled through Iowa it was called the Newt Gingrich Campaign.
Workers are fighting the good fight to keep Eppley Airfield open. They filled in a sandboil, are repairing flood-caused sinkholes and today the corps of engineers released all the water from a mixed drink in the airport lounge.
Werner Park officials have offered their site as a backup if TD Ameritrade Park becomes unplayable. Imagine if the CWS championship game is tied, in extra innings, a full count when a wiffle ball from the pick-up game comes rolling into the batter's box.
This would be the first CWS featuring a bounce house behind shortstop.
Tuesday is the official beginning of summer. Unless you live in North Dakota or parts of Minnesota in which it's time to get ready for winter.
In a TV interview, President Obama suggested that technology — like job-stealing ATMs - are why unemployment isn't recovering. Finally, we have a solid Obama economic plan — he's going to drop all the ATMs into the ocean.
After a round of golf pitting Obama and House Speaker John Boehner vs. Joe Biden and Ohio Gov. John Kasich, Obama and Boehner won $2 each. Obama donated his to the Obama for President Campaign.
A Barack Obama impersonator hijacked proceedings at the GOP Leadership Conference. Wait a second — since there are questions about President Obama's birth certificate, how do we know this wasn't the real Obama and the guy in the White House is the fake?
Later, a Sarah Palin impersonator came out — Michele Bachmann.
Michelle Obama and the president's mother-in-law just left on a two-week overseas trip. So I guess we know what President Obama's Father's Day gift was.
Media outlets are pouring over 24,000 pages of Sarah Palin emails. One email deals with Palin's failure to attend the 2008 Miss Alaska Pageant. Sarah, you missed quite a pageant, the gal who won the talent competition threw the moose chips over 300 feet.
Tim Pawlenty is now using "ObamneyCare" a word most Americans are unfamiliar with. Unfortunately, another word that most Americans are unfamiliar with is "Pawlenty."
Jennifer Hudson is releasing a celebrity weight loss book. This is why Americans don't have time to diet — we're too busy reading celebrity weight loss books.
The Miss USA Pageant included as a judge a member of the cast of "Real Housewives of New Jersey." That explains how the contestant who was chewing gum and smoking a cigarette while cursing her ex made the Top Eight.
Thursday is the big Rosenblatt memorabilia auction. The item expected to draw the highest bid? Home plate. The item expected to draw the lowest bid? The mouthpiece used by the second string right guard of the Hartford Colonials in last year's game with the Nighthawks.
Authorities in Los Angeles seized $1 million worth of bogus brand karaoke machines. This is in response to a new survey showing that while Americans think hard drugs coming into the country is a big problem it's more important to stop the flow of karaoke machines.
Atlanta is losing its National Hockey League team. Upon hearing the news the average American sports fan said, "Atlanta has a National Hockey League team?"
New Mexico football player Deshon Marman was arrested after trying to board a U.S. Airways flight with baggy pants that partially exposed his buttocks. If it's a crime to partially expose your buttocks in public, 90 percent of all plumbers will eventually do time.
While promoting the U.S. Open, an ESPN website portrayed Phil Michelson swinging right handed. Now what may have been the first clue the website made a mistake? Perhaps the fact that Mickelson's nickname is Lefty?
Copyright ©2012 Omaha World-Herald®. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, displayed or redistributed for any purpose without permission from the Omaha World-Herald.
